( fish )

not sure what i'm doing wrong, this time. also, had a funeral for a bee (traditional bee funeral), cleaned wine up after.

appleofmyelbow

if you're down.

if there's anything that i'm not going to acknowledge, or care about, or be happy about, it's that today is my anniversary.

i said my because it's just mine. not yours, not hers, not his, not it's or it. it's sentimental, and it means things to me. i don't expect any of you to understand. not in your garbage can worlds, and not with your fucked senses of commitment. especially not you. especially not all of you. you can run away to your friends house, and look forward to your futures, but all i can do is run away to a warm needle, or 12 hours of sleep, or a big black dude with a gun, and horrible, horrible ideas about things.

so, uh, it's been a while, and 2 years ago i'd've hated myself now, but i'd have hated all of you now, too. bunch of creeps, you all are.

fuck you all. except linda and my girlfriend smike. and our pets.

garbage.

Okay, just fucking get over yourself, Camille. If you want to feel important all the time, buy two cell phones that are linked together, on one of those plans that lets you call the other cell phone for free. A family plan. Give one of them to Ted. That way, whenever you want somebody to compliment you, or say "camille, you're so artsy and weird, i wish i were you," you could just call Ted, and he'd do it in a second. He's the only genuinly nice person around, nowadays. You can keep him on salery, too. As one of the help.

And after that, it would only be polite to fuck the poor son of a bitch, for always having to be so fucking fake all the time. By fake, i don't mean "nice," as you'll interpret it, i just mean stuck in the uncomfortable little webs that you spin, that you force on people, with your million sorry's and never minds (or, excuse me, neverminds) if somebody doesn't respond the fucking SECOND you tell a story about the trolley, as if somebody saying "that's nice," makes a whole lot more of a difference. you'll still interpret it as me thinking 'nice' is fake, or just ryan being a big dumb retard. Think whatever's most convenient, and whatever makes a better story to tell your friends. You're such a hero.

So, you know, excuse me for not paying full attention to her majesty.

Now run off, as a nervous, wet cat.

i need to learn to keep my stupid mouth shut, at all times.

http://www.myspace.com/cosmiccloudtransformertea
Theme Song has been uploaded to our internet headquarters.

okay, go to this link right here.

it's myspace, right?

this guy's 25 years old, right? His three comments are just people saying "thanks for the add." He's interested in motorcycles, hanging out with friends and road trips. His music interests are Green Day. His heroes are his brothers, who happen to be in the Marines and Army.
He's got 33 friends. Princess* is one of them.

Go here now

This is P-Harv, from West Palm Beach, Florida. He's interested in sports. In no particular order, he likes techno, eighties rock and classic rock. P-Harv's hero is Jesus Christ, because "no one else comes close."

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=23558562

TheBigE1980, 25 years old, is from Arizona. One of his favorite books is the bible, and one of his heroes is his dad. He loves sports and videogames and likes any music that is not rap.

These have all been from the "cool new people" square of Myspace. While I was going through these, and pasting the links, right as i clicked on one, i noticed the one next to it was titled "cigarettes killed my father and ripped my mother apart." I hit the refresh button a million times - because i'd noticed some of them repeating - but couldn't find it again.

It's clear now. Myspace is the governments way of enforcing it's everyman and subconsciously training you. These people that they're promoting so much are a bunch of mommy and daddy loving, bible reading, simpson watching government freelancers, keeping tabs on your myspace talk. Usually they only have 4 or 5 friends, which turn out to be undercover colleagues, usually with pictures of celebrities instead of themselves (if they're a girl, because the government hates women, except condoleeza rice) (who i think is probably just a post-op uncle tom "example for young black women everywhere" scheme), or military men and a few scattered military women, watching you.

So, you know, i'm just saying. The man's watching you. Watch out.

Hello!

I want to build some kind of filter so that the mercury doesn't get into my mouth. I'll blow really hard and shoot it like a spit wad into somebody's wendy's hamburger. or i'll start a snow cone business with some savings from working at k-mart. I wouldn't get a permit for my push cart. i'd just keep walking until somebody wanted something. only i'd hold a knife in my left hand, so that nobody fucked with me. whoever i thought should die would get an extra scoop of air freshner jelly fish egg looking things. they'd be pre made, with frozen bumble bees in them, and a drop of mercury. I'd be known as the bumble bee killer, or the mercury killer, who signed his murders with a bumble bee. I'd kill many, too. i'd start with the kids i thought liked tim burton, and then the bro-dozers, bro-hoes and slipknot fans, and then i'd go really crazy and kill randomly.

i'm so tired. i can't stop yawning.

more than any movie on earth, i really, really want to see Stealth.

i have never, ever been so happy to hear about linda bleeding.

you only did it because i did it, and you don't even know why i did it, so you're a follower and you're reactionary.

i'm going to go to a doctor to get anti-depressants.

kerouac is ultimately a fat stupid let down of a drunk.

I finally found the Flipper album, and it's as beautiful as i thought it would be.

the cosmic cloud transformer team could probably give you rock'n'roll gonorrhea without its rock'n'roll dick ever being in your pussy or mouth. or butt. it's just that powerful. or you're just that much of a whore.

laraine got kicked out for having emotion. she'll be happier in porkland, though, and you should treat her nicely, because she feels nothing but love. or i don't know. i'm just a stranger.

i guess i'm going to have to give myself a haircut if i want to get a McJobby.

i got kicked out. i don't know when i'll be back, so in any sense, bye.

the past two weeks with linda have been the best two weeks in a long, long lot of weeks.